TL;DR
In ‘Longings,’ Meghan Daum delves into the often-overlooked power of unfulfilled desires. She explores how our longings, both big and small, shape our lives, influence our choices, and ultimately contribute to our personal growth. Daum challenges the societal pressure to constantly achieve and acquire, suggesting instead that there’s value in acknowledging and even embracing our unfulfilled desires.
Table of contents
Open Table of contents
Author & Writing Background
Meghan Daum is an American author, essayist, and columnist known for her insightful and often humorous observations on contemporary life. Her writing has appeared in numerous publications, including The New Yorker, The Atlantic, and The New York Times Magazine. Daum’s work often explores themes of self-discovery, relationships, and navigating the complexities of modern society.
Key Takeaways
The Paradox of Desire
Daum explores the inherent contradiction of desire – how the pursuit of our longings can bring both joy and frustration. She argues that the process of longing itself, rather than the attainment of the desired object, is what truly shapes us.
The Fear of Disappointment
Daum examines the fear of disappointment that often accompanies our desires. She suggests that this fear can hold us back from pursuing our dreams and encourages readers to embrace the possibility of disappointment as a natural part of life.
The Value of Unfulfilled Longings
Daum challenges the notion that unfulfilled desires are failures. She argues that our longings can serve as a source of inspiration, motivation, and self-reflection, ultimately leading to personal growth and a deeper understanding of ourselves.
The Role of Imagination
Daum emphasizes the importance of imagination in fueling our desires. She suggests that our ability to envision and fantasize about what we want is essential for both setting goals and finding contentment in the present moment.
The Comparison Trap
Daum explores the dangers of comparing our desires and achievements to those of others. She encourages readers to focus on their own unique longings and to resist the temptation to measure their self-worth based on external validation.
Letting Go of Expectations
Daum emphasizes the importance of letting go of rigid expectations. She suggests that by releasing our attachment to specific outcomes, we open ourselves up to new possibilities and a greater sense of freedom.
Finding Contentment in the Present
Daum explores how our focus on future desires can prevent us from appreciating the present moment. She encourages readers to cultivate gratitude for what they have and to find joy in the journey, regardless of whether their longings are ultimately fulfilled.
The Power of Acceptance
Daum argues that accepting our unfulfilled desires is essential for finding peace and contentment. She suggests that by acknowledging our longings without judgment, we can free ourselves from the burden of unrealistic expectations and embrace the beauty of the unknown.
FAQ about Longings
Is ‘Longings’ a self-help book or a memoir?
‘Longings’ blends elements of both self-help and memoir. Daum shares personal anecdotes and reflections while also offering insights and guidance that readers can apply to their own lives.
What types of desires does the book discuss?
The book explores a wide range of desires, from the seemingly trivial (e.g., wanting a particular pair of shoes) to the more profound (e.g., longing for love, success, or a sense of purpose).
Does the book offer practical advice for dealing with unfulfilled desires?
Yes, ‘Longings’ provides practical suggestions for acknowledging, exploring, and ultimately accepting our unfulfilled desires. Daum offers strategies for managing disappointment, cultivating gratitude, and finding contentment in the present moment.
Longings Quotes
- ”Our longings, those things we yearn for but can never quite reach, are what make us human."
- "The opposite of longing is not having, but not wanting."
- "Sometimes the most powerful desires are the ones that remain unfulfilled.”